The Spider-man Marriage

I am going to repost some of my rants that I did on Crawlspace because it will lead some place...eventually. :D

Today is going to be the Spider-man marriage which ties into the first post on this blog:




Ladies and Gentlemen, I bring you my rant about the marriage. It is going to be goodie.

I have really thought long and hard about this particular rant because there are a lot of misconceptions about the marriage made by writers, EIC and fans. Here are the biggest complaints about the marriage:

1. It is unrelateable to younger readers.
2. It takes something away from the story.
3. Writers don’t want write for a married Spider-man.
4. You can tell only so many stories about married Spider-man.
5. I don’t want Mary Jane in every issue.
6. Peter is a loser and the marriage takes that away.
7. Marriage takes away from the fun of the book.
8. What is the difference in a marriage and a committed relationship? It is the same thing.
9. The marriage was forced and rushed.
10. The marriage sucked! The stories sucked!

Those are the ones I see and hear the most often on the web and my LCS. I have argued my points about the marriage over and over again. Let me prefaced with this by saying if the marriage was ended in a story that made sense then I wouldn’t I have problem. The fact, and it is a fact, One More Day was a flying shitfest of a story. It was insulting to the fans and the writers that have worked on the Spider-man titles for last 20 years. That is fact contrary to what Marvel’s Webhead say it did change the makeup of the Marvel Universe and affected the whole Universe. That is another rant for another time.

It is unrelateable to younger readers.

I guess all the younger readers in the world don’t have parents that weren’t/aren’t married. Bastards! Yes, it is that stupid. Just saying that is showing how out touch Joe Quesada is with the readership of Marvel Comics. I guess young readers can relate to drunken hooks ups and sex without love better. That Joe Quesada approved the fact Peter has unprotected sex and that something that should be pushed on young readers. Thank you Joe for making my job as parent real easy, no Spider-man comics will be read in my house. That is real. That is irresponsible to put in a book with high children interest and don’t give this Marvel Adventure crap either. I am not an idiot or a fool. Don’t ever make that mistake about me. In other words, you want to live in a world of sunshine and roses. Fine. I will live in a world that deals with reality.

It takes something away from the story.
Writers don’t want write for a married Spider-man.
You can tell only so many stories about married Spider-man.
I don’t want Mary Jane in every issue.
Peter is a loser and the marriage takes that away.
Marriage takes away from the fun of the book.
The marriage sucked! The stories sucked!

With an exception of last on, those are writer’s and EIC’s complaints. The last one is an result of wrong people writing the book. This is really simple. Don’t want to write for married Spider-man? Then you can’t write for the character! Last thing that the flagship character needs is a professional acting like a whiny fanboy because their stories suck due to lack of caring. It wasn’t the fact the marriage was in the book that caused these problems; it was due to writers and EIC not be able to deal with the situation and taking advantage of it to help make these stories better. Marriage adds drama. Marriage is fun (in a warped kind of way). The only difference between a married Peter Parker and a single one is that he can’t fuck anything that moves. That’s it. Nothing else is different. The real mistake by the writers is having the marriage in every issue. For the love of God, it didn’t have to be part of the story nor did Mary Jane have to be in every issue. Use it when need and do not just throw in there for unknown reasons. Get writers that can draw from their marriage and have them write for the book, or writers that understand what marriage is and let them take care of it.

Peter is not a loser. I hate when they say that. Ranks up there with the cousin story for being one the dumbest things ever said in an interview. Peter is every man. Every man is looking for the right person to share their life with and for them to part of that person’s life. I seriously doubt those that said this has ever read a Spider-man comic book or understand the overall ground work that was done by Stan Lee and company. Peter is the ultimate winner because he does the right thing no matter what the cost. He fights the no-win situations (Firelord). He comes out victorious sometime and like every man he loses sometimes. However, he will eventually win the war. The marriage gave hope to Peter. It gave something to fight for beyond his motto. Time to grow up readers and writers because we do things to help those we love. At least, I hope that is why you do things because you want to be able to help those you love now and in the future.


What is the difference in a marriage and a committed relationship? It is the same thing.


BULLSHIT! A committed relationship is nothing like a marriage because it has an easy out. You can just pack your shit up and leave. No legal ramifications. No proclamation of love in the paper. No committed relationship license is needed. No special ceremony with friends declaring your committed relationship in a committed relationship ceremony. Tell what, for those that are married. Go tell you wife that you just want a committed relationship. Just have an ice bag ready because you will need it after she kicks your balls to your throat. I have nothing against people living together before they get married. In fact, I highly recommend it because that could be seen as a test run for the relationship. Marriage is a legal and public announcement to forsake all others for this one person because they are just that damn special to you. You can say it is the ultimate test of your love for each other to take that step. One more thing, saying something like tells a lot about the person who says it. One, they either are not married or not married a long time. Two, they are a child and don’t know that what women want in a relationship. A married man saying that also tells me that their marriage is doomed because it tells me that they aren’t taking their situation seriously. That fact is that saying is an insult to people who take their marriage seriously and want it to last until death do us part. What I am trying say here is that some people need to get a clue before they open their mouth about things that they don’t have enough experience to say anything about to begin with. Come back to after 16 years marriage, we will talk then about how a committed relationship is the same as marriage.


The marriage was forced and rushed.

Umm..hello? Did you people read any issues before Annual 21? Peter asked Mary Jane to marry him before and she said no. It wasn’t rushed. In fact, there were a couple issues done before the Annual happened that explained why Mary Jane said yes to Peter. Stan wanted this to happen because he knew it was time to move on in the story. We could have the discussion on who really wrote Spider-man, but Stan was a major player in the direction and creation of the core character of Peter Parker. It was time for Peter Parker to grow beyond just being a loner. There were no more stories to be told about Peter’s personal relationships while he is single that hasn’t been told. That is fact. What you are reading now isn’t new or “refreshing”. It is retread territory that has done by better people in the past that cared more about the character and its future. Marriage offered something that Peter being single couldn’t do, and that is hope. Hope for a future without Spider-man. Hope for normalcy. Hope for family. In other words, every man’s dream.

I didn’t get into Mary Jane’s characterization because that is another rant, but I do want to say that Marvel dropped the ball big time with the character. They continued to drop the ball with the character because they are afraid of the character. One last thing, comic should never be like the movie. Movies should be like the comics. Keep that in mind because do we want another Back in Black story?