The Raw form of my rant about Dan Slott.

You wanna dance? Let’s dance!

I try very hard to be respectful in my rants about the subjects of writers and EIC at Marvel. I never ever attack who they are other than calling them fan boys. Yet, I am the negative motherfucker here. You want negativity. I give you some fucking negativity.

Amazing Spider-man sucked balls since issue 545. There are very few good single issues and almost every fucking arc is a clear fanfic. It show they lack the ability to do the one single requirement to be a fucking decent writer. Motherfucking research! Well, guess what? This motherfucking asshole did some God Damn research. I did this for one simple reason, to shove it in their faces! I am going single one single writer here because he choses to single me out. Well Dan Slot, LET’S PLAY!

From the CBR article: CCC09: Dan Slott Talks Spider-Man

Slott talked a bit about why the man behind the Spider mask doesn’t usually drink alcohol, but how it usually means bad things for the hero. "We’ve seen it once or twice over the years, and it’s led to bad things happening.” That fallibility is part of what fascinates him with the character, though, and lies at the core of what he and his team wants to explore. "[Peter Parker] is a person with feet of clay. We call him an everyman."
The human mistakes he makes drive the subsequent story arcs, but also provide the questions that Slott says they try to answer. "It’s fun every now and then to see him goof up and to see him make mistakes and see him make the wrong choice," he said. "The thing is, what do you do after you’ve made the mistake? How do you live your life?"

Have you ever read more than a single issue of Spider-man Dan? How about researching the character? If you had, you would find out that Peter doesn't drink because he doesn’t want fail in being responsible. This is your mistake. This is your failure. Yep, I am being fucking negative!

From Cup of Joe via Myspace on 1-30-09:

DS: Yeah. If you’re doing a book in the Marvel Universe, everything you’re doing is built on continuity. You’re standing on the shoulders of Lee, Ditko, Kirby, Romita, Thomas, Mantlo, Frenz, and Stern, everybody up till now.And in this day and age, especially in the era of a Wikipedia or Marvel’s Digital Comics Unlimited, it’s easy to just take five minutes and do a quick check, and try to get your stuff right. You don’t have to have an encyclopedic knowledge of comics. The tools are there. Just do a quick check. And the continuity can be an asset to your story; it doesn’t have to be an obstacle. It’s not a lead weight around your neck, it’s a building block.

I’m a continuity maven, and I’ll be the first guy to say stories shouldn’t be about continuity. But why should stories knock continuity when they don’t have to? That said, you can spend hours and hours checking something and still goof up. I screw up all the time. We’re not perfect. That’s why Stan created No-Prizes! And that’s before you run into “personal continuities.”

Why don’t you start using those building blocks Dan? Is the fact you can’t live up to your own hype anymore? The stories should add to the fucking continuity and not fucking ignores it! Let me guess, that would cut into your promoting time or surfing the Web time. Please! Don’t do that! We may get a decent story for once!

From the CBR forum:
Originally Posted by erictheman9
Simply put, comics doesn't pay enough to attract a writer's "best work."
Gotcha.

DS:Money is obviously my only motivation in life. Good to know.

Quote:
Originally Posted by erictheman9
I assume that if the current brain trust spent 24/7 on ASM, they'd put out better work than what is out there, since more time thinking/researching stories can't hurt. But obviously that's not a choice they're willing to make.

DS:Obviously this is one of those times where someone is intending their statements to be ironic or over-the-top-rude-for-the-sake-of-being-funny and it's just not coming across in the text.

Quote:
Originally Posted by erictheman9
I'm sure they put out the best work they can given the circumstances they face--which for some of them, means juggling other, much more lucrative avenues. I wouldn't be surprised if ASM falls to the bottom of that list.

DS:Yes. Getting a once-in-a-lifetime chance to work on Amazing Spider-Man isn't a factor at all. For the love of--

I shouldn't read the internet. That should be my new mantra. I shouldn't read the internet.

Jesus.

This was the WORST use of a break I've taken in years.

I would have liked to spend some time with my friends and family this weekend-- or seen Watchmen (which, with my schedule, I'm probably not gonna get to see for weeks)-- but I'm here working on Spider-Man. It's-- *looks up at clock*- 4:42 AM on Sunday-- (Really? Oy.)-- and I'm about to jump back into my current script. And I'm doing this without ANY reservation, because IT'S SPIDER-MAN!

Seriously, what insight do you have into ANY of our PERSONAL priorities? I'd really like to know. I've gotten in serious trouble because, while working away on a number of all-nighters, a loved one said to me, "What's more important to you? Me or Spider-Man?" And I PAUSED! I paused WAY too long! I'm going to hear about that for the REST of my life. (And rightly so.)

There are so many things I would dearly love to type in response to a post like this. SO many. (Use your imagination).

But here's the thing... I'm shaking this off right now. You're just someone on the internet spouting off. And that's cool. That's part of what the internet's for. And taking posts like yours seriously shouldn't rank high on my list. You know what ranks high on my list-- right at the top? Writing Spider-Man.

I'm proud of the work I've done on this book. I'm proud of the whole damn team.
I look back on the first year of ASM and I can say earnestly and with all honesty that collaborating with artists like Phil Jimenez, Steve McNiven, Marcos Martin, John Romita Jr., Paulo Siquera, and Mike McKone has been one of the highlights of my LIFE!

If you think l didn't realize the pressure of working on the first BND story to come out of the gate... Or that I didn't understand the expectations that were resting on a storyline like New Ways to Die... Or that I didn't pour every ounce of love and craft I had into the Paper Doll story (which is probably going to be one of my FAVORITE things I've done in comics until the day I die)... Then you really, really, really don't get it.

Have your opinions about the material-- about the work-- and how it makes you feel. That's cool. I'm all for that. If you're not digging it, I understand. Hey, I read comics too. And I don't like EVERYTHING that's out there. And when I'm in private, talking to my friends, there are comics out there that I TOTALLY rip into. Not every comic is for every person.

But that's talking about the story, the characters, the art, the writing. At worst it's knocking a creator's craft.
But it is NEVER about that creator as a person, their sense of professionalism, or where their heart truly lies.

Phew. Okay. Got that off my chest.

I hope you guys understand where this is coming from. You go to a party or some social event, and someone introduces you-- and they say something like:
This is John, he's a high school science teacher. This is Sara, she works in real estate. This is Mike, he's a podiatrist. Maybe it's out of whack, but here in the West, what we DO is so much of who we ARE (or how people perceive us-- or how we perceive ourselves). And even though we're many things (members of families and members of communities tied together through race, creed, color, religion, sexual orientation, geography, and what have you)...

...there's something to be said about the identities that we forge for ourselves through CHOICE-- the professions we actively pursue-- the things we STRIVE to be-- and the parts of our lives where we invest most of our days. Sometimes we do that thing in order to live. And sometimes if we're very, very lucky, we get to live in order to do that thing. I write Spider-Man.

I'm glad I vented a little here (at, now 4:54 AM on Sunday), because while this was a half an hour or so where I should have been scripting-- it was a half an hour that got me back to the place I needed to get to. Just a reminder that I've got THE job I want-- one that really makes me happy.

All right. Back to work. :)


I am the negative one? I must be fucking high. Dan, yoo hoo, Dan over here. You could have just ignored it and move on with the rest of your life. Then that would require you to stop think you are the greatest writer of Spider-man since Stan Lee.


From Ain’t it Cool Dan Slott said the following:

No. This book has, had, and will have continuity. It takes place in the Marvel Universe. I see a lot of online fans out there saying that 20 years of continuity have been wiped. And that's so not the case. This isn't a 'Crisis' or a reboot. This is Marvel, people.

I don't mean to get my geek on, but here goes… The "mind-wipe" is a comic book trope. Except for a few changes, everything happened. People are just remembering it wrong. This has been done before many times in the Marvel U. From Sentry to Iron Man to Doc Strange.

Back in '98, Kurt Busiek did an Iron Man/Captain America special where Iron Man used an A.I.M.-built brainwashing satellite to make EVERYONE on Earth forget that he was ever Iron Man. Once upon a time, Stephen Strange made EVERYONE in EXISTENCE forget he was Sorcerer Supreme, and then he adopted the new identity of Dr. Stephen Saunders.

And it didn't change or invalidate ANY of their past comics. Look, hardcore fans can figure this stuff out. They've got the skills. It's all a matter of taking off the blinders, putting on your
No-Prize hat, and getting creative.

There ARE solutions to ANY continuity problem you can come up with. Honest. WE know how they all work. But who wants to go on and on explaining it all? I mean, just look at how long THIS response is. See? Getting sleepy yet? Me? I'd rather use that time telling stories!


Hey Dan, you forgot to add all those were done away with eventually. You also tend to forget the fucking Unmasking. You do remember that story don’t you? You know the one were Peter Unmasked to whole fucking world? Lets not forgot all those stories where a MARRIED Peter Parker and Mary Jane were part of in the Marvel Universe. Let’s not forget all those heroes that knew that Peter was Spider-man and married to this girl call Mary Jane Parker! Naa…this isn’t a reboot. It is a major fucking reboot! It is a major fucking reboot because it affects the whole fucking universe! Don’t be a dumbass when you open your mouth Dan!

Just some random comment by Dan Slott on CBR:

BUT, this is throwaway one-shot so whatever.

DS:Seriously, you could NOT be more wrong. This is NOT a throwaway. The last DR: THE LIST one-shot has a BIG effect on the company wide DARK REIGN story line.

Originally Posted by Jim Thompson
That art is phenomenal. I might get a copy just to look at that art.
That's fair.

DS: Sometimes I skim over your posts just to admire CBR's lovely font.

Originally Posted by carabas
Doesn't fly.

DS:It flies if you want it to fly. If you don't want it to fly, it won't.

Quote:
Originally Posted by carabas
He used to have the experiences of being single and of being married. Now he just has lots of experience being single.

DS:The relationship and experiences Peter had with MJ would have been the longest relationship of his life. Are you saying that relationship (about 20 years in real time) would have had NO more impact on him that dating someone for a few months or his previous relationships?

Are you saying that people on this board who've had long term relationships have experienced LESS in their lives than people who have been married for that exact same duration of time?

Quote:
Originally Posted by carabas
The experience of not being married is something he's had since the sixties.
Not the specific experience of being in that long and committed of a relationship. That's something different. Peter has never experienced that with anyone else.

DS:So you really think Aunt May of all people was fine not hearing from Peter for 2 monnths with nothing more than a vague answering machine message? Really?
If you go back and re-read the story, he actually calls Aunt May before he goes and tells her that he doesn't know how long he'll be gone. The answering machine was for everyone else.

I pick some these mostly to show how out of touch Dan is with the fans. He is totally clueless that the fans are laughing at him and not with him anymore. He isn’t cute, have you seen a picture of him? Wieght-Watcher needs to call him ASAP before he can’t sit in a normal chair anymore. All this is Dan trying to be cute instead of being a decent writer and researching his characters. Don’t even get me started on how screwed up Mighty Avengers is!

From 2008 Wizard Con in LA:

* Gale on the question of "did this happen or not happen," "None of it happened. It's fiction." He brought up Iron Man's origin and and how it is tweaked to make it contemporary.
"If this stuff makes you crazy, it's like William Shatner said to that guy, 'Get a life.'"
Slott added, "there are answers, it's pretty cool, keep reading."

Hey Dan, tell me how is tell the fans to get a life a positive thing to do? I will wait for your reply. I should get that about the same time when the issue that explains those missing 100 days. I am going to check my health plan to see if it is paid up because this is going to be one long fucking wait.

From Newsarama interview:

NRAMA: From talking to Steve, we've gotten that "forward motion" is the name of the game for BND and Amazing - how are things set up for that to work? Is Amazing Spider-Man #546 basically a start point that, for better or worse, things won't look further back than for a set period of time?

DS: Spider-Man's whole life is open to us. There are no shut doors. But the most interesting moment in time is always going to be right now! And from where we pick Pete up in #546 to where he goes from here on out-- is gonna be a great ride! And with the stuff we've got planned, and this crazy (boy-we-gotta-work-insane-hours-to-pull-it-off) thrice weekly schedule we're doing-- that ride is gonna come at you fast!

BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBUUUUUUUUUUUUULLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! There was no close door in the first place. The only thing that was close was that Peter couldn't fuck anything that moves. THAT’S IT! Granted, I am way more creative than you are Dan to see that because I have the fucking guts to go places that no else would be willing to go with a character.

From NYCC 09:

* Will Norman Osborn recognize Spider-Man when they meet in the post Secret Invasion/One More Day/Dark Reign world? Bendis called up the hiding Dan Slott to answer, and Slott said that Norman will in fact realize who is under Spidey’s mask there will be an important Norman/Spider-Man arc coming up with Joe Kelly’s “American Son” arc and Slott’s upcoming Spidey/Fantastic Four two-parter (in ASM #590 and #591) will bring up the fact that people really SHOULD know who’s under that mask.

Well, that is just a fucking lie. Nothing but lies from a lair that lie to get a job at Marvel taking away from a person that wanted to earn college credit. I bet you never said sorry that person did you Dan. I guess that is the new motto at Marvel. Fuck’em we do what we want.

About Downloading Comics via Bitorrets:

She-Hulk, while it gets good reviews and enjoys a pretty loyal and devoted following, is still a low-selling title. It needs EVERY sale it can get to stay in the game. When you circumvent the intended path of sales you hurt the incomes of a LOT of people. [...]
Your sale acts as a vote. When you download a comic without paying for it, no vote is cast. You’ve gotten all the benefits of My, Rick’s, Cliff’s, Dave Sharpe’s, and Dave Kemp’s work– and we didn’t get the benefit of your vote. That’s not fair. We work very hard to produce the best comic we can– and, in effect, you’ve stolen from us.
Please stop. You’re not just ripping off Marvel. You’re ripping off all the PEOPLE putting this book out– people trying to make a living and support their families.

I am using this because of the low sales figures for the so call flagship character at Marvel. You better pray they are downloading you books Dan because no one wants to pay for you to jack off to pictures of Black Cat anymore. Oh, by the way Dan, you ripped off people who PAID for last 20 years of comics by not have balls enough to say that One More Day was the wrong thing to do towards the customers. Dickhead…

From a Blog call SCHWAPP!!!:
(Dan Slott is replying to a person from Jinxworld on that person's blog. He choose to get this person banned from Jinxworld because of other things this person said on the Web and not at Jinxworld)

Kevin,

You got four posts from me here today. Three comments on a thread yesterday. In each case you started by taking shots at people I know– and have posted just as much back.

On my side, there really hasn’t been that many comments from me since my last post on Feb. 2nd on the same thread where you reported Marc Guggenheim to the WGA. In the meantime YOU have been making frequent and regular posts about ME. Most of which have accused me of doing something that I simply did NOT DO.

When you look at the amount of time you’ve dedicated to going after ME, versus my posts yesterday and today? I think I’ve shown remarkable restraint.
When you appeared to post on my message board AFTER reporting Marc, creating a regular column dedicated to slamming Val (over 10 times in 2 months), and making frequent accusations against me– as if that were perfectly fine, I requested that you be blocked from MY board and NOT the rest of Jinxworld. But when the mods took at your behavior around the net, THEY decided that ALL the Jinxworld boards were better off without you.

“Obi Gee Why Enn”

Val talking about her own history is one thing. Using it as a cheap shot to score points at the end of an argument is another. Kevin doesn’t think about these things or their resonance. All he cares about is their shock value.

In his own words he “regrets” making the comments he did about Devin Grayson. While that is admirable, what is more telling is when he says “But I regret MORE that Valerie decided to spin what I said into something worse…” That’s messed up.
To the person posting as my own Ego (Thanks that’s cute).

How would you feel if you saw someone going around the net saying lies about you? Things he’s not willing to back up. (BTW, Matt Brady has seen everything Kevin’s accused me of doing at Newsarama– and has equivocally said he KNOWS I didn’t do it). How would you feel if Kevin made accusations about your friends and coworkers? How would you feel if because– in his own words he “felt dismissed” and “agitated” over internet posts– he reported someone you know to their union? Seriously, how would you feel?

I think I’m allowed my 3 posts yesterday and these 4 today.

That person's reply just to give equal time for truth:

OK, Dan...let's go over this point by point, again, shall we?

* You have your own place to vent your feelings about me, Dan. Your own forum. Or you could answer my accusations here. But I don't see why you have to take every appearance by me on blogs across the 'net as the proper forum for you to vent about me. Really. You could get the same kind of effect by complaining about it on your own forum, couldn't you? So, no, I would not say that you've exhibited an incredible amount of restraint. I'd dare say you don't know the definition of the word.
* I had already told you that I'd have no problem staying out of your forum several times during our off-board discussion. I even invited you to delete all evidence of my ever posting on your forum, not that you'd need my permission. Given your propensity for lies and fantastical stories, I don't know that I'm going to buy your story here.
* I didn't take a cheap shot at Val with it. She accused me of trying to get famous by having an argument with you and Guggenheim. That it was the purpose of my dust-up with the two of you. I denied that and then held the mirror back to her so she could see the way she chose to get famous.
* I regret making the joke the way I did. I stand by the fact that dating someone established in the industry does help your pitches get looked at.
* Please don't try to drag Matt Brady into this. He isn't part of the discussion and any talks you two had were private. It does nothing to help your argument.

Update: Heidi took down several of the posts there. Including the quoted Slott one above and the one from Obi Gee Why Enn. Just a lesson, kids...it is always good to open a separate window when you want to see if there are any updates rather than refreshing a window and potentially losing some of the good stuff.

Obi Gee Why Enn said:

Dan, Valerie brought up her vagina first. If she didn't want people talking about her vagina, then why should she post on the INTERNET about her vagina. If Kevin Huxford mocked her for talking about her vagina, it's probably because she has a whole topic category about her vagina. If Val doesn't want anyone to talk about her vagina, she should keep it off the internet.


That makes it sound like I actually had substantive discussions about her vagina, when I only pointed out that she used stories about her ripped vagina to get internet fame. She didn't just tell the story of the injury, she teased it in the blogs proceeding it, stretched it out into at least three blogs, and then kept referring back to it for awhile. One of the biggest word of mouth bits from her site was about some unnamed DC Comics penciller with a large member managed to break Val's vagina.

Not that there's anything wrong with that. But when you attempted to get your notoriety through your "broken hoohah" (her "label" for those blogs) and (at the time) anonymously slinging dirt about DC Comics editorial without naming names (thus likely leading to the innocent being judged just as badly as the guilty), you really have no leg to stand on in criticizing others...especially when you're attributing motivations that just aren't true.

WAAAA! Love me Damnit! I am Dan Slott! You must love me! It must be such a bitch being you Dan. Everyone fucking hates you. The best part about this is how he runs to the Jinxworld mods and ask for him to be ban for things he done at other places. LOL Cry baby.


From Marvel.com:

Marvel.com: How do you feel they stack up against Spidey's classic rogues?

Dan Slott: A lot of the classic guys wear their hearts on their sleeves. You know who they are, what they want, and what they can do. These new guys know how to keep a secret. And as their stories unfold, and you find out more about them, I think their cool factor will grow exponentially.

That’s what we want Dan! No backstory! Please keep us in the dark for 2 fucking years!

From Newsarama Interview about New Ways To Die:

NRAMA: Will there be more...
DS: Yes!
NRAMA: ...developments with Mary Jane during this storyline?
DS: What?! No.

Finally, something that is still true today. Other than the fact you would like to fuck her Dan, you have no idea who Mary Jane is as a character.

That’s it Dan. At least, that is much as I could stomach of you kissing your own ass via the web. I am going to give a little insight into who I am really. I am a fucking asshole. I like I am this way because I can look at myself in the mirror and not give a shit if the world loves me. Sure, I like to think I am respected here on Internet because of my actions and my attitude, which to this point has been very respectful towards everyone except once. Dan Slott, you sit in you Ivory Tower and realize this one simple truth. I will be leading the charge to knock it down.